Okay, judging by the reactions (here and by phone), for some indecipherable reason, my previous post was not considered amusing... at all! Perhaps it is just my warped sense of humour, if you can call it that, but I thought it was hilarious. While I knew some would think I took things too far, I didn't expect them to be in the majority. I suppose it was one of those things that was funnier in my head. My apologies to those who think I crossed the line.
I shall attempt to be more wary with next years edition of dumbschmuckery.
Showing posts with label Dumbschmuckery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dumbschmuckery. Show all posts
Thursday, 3 April 2008
Monday, 31 March 2008
Thoughts From The Head Is Being Retired.
Some may be wondering where I have been for the past five weeks. Well now that it's all over, I am finally at liberty to say. I have been embroiled in a legal battle with the Government of Canada, more specifically Immigration Canada.
A brief history - I emigrated to Canada almost fifteen years ago. About six weeks after arriving in Canada, my father passed away from a heart attack. While I have been eligible for Canadian Citizenship for almost a dozen years, or at least I thought I did, loyalty to my birth nation of Kenya has refrained me becoming a Canuck on paper. However after my recently aborted trip to Kenya, my loyalty succumbed to pragmatism and I bit the bullet and applied for Canadian Citizenship. It is just so much easier to travel as a Canadian than a Kenyan.
I received and filled out the forms as directed. I had all my references and guarantors in order and everything was coming along swimmingly... until I received a call from one Ms. Catherine Stewart. It turns out I have been in the country illegally since my father passed away. Apparently, it was my father who actually emigrated to Canada, and I was only allowed in as his dependant. Since he passed away so shortly after our arrival, it invalidated my status here in Canada. The only problem is no told me. I simply slipped through the cracks of the system. I slipped through so many cracks that I never raised any flags when I applied for jobs, filled out my taxes or required health care - Since, my SIN and OHIP have been rescinded.
So I'm on the phone with Ms. Stewart and saying I was stunned would be the understatement of the decade. Luckily, because I had been here so long, and because I had stayed out of trouble, that is to say, no warrants or even a police record, there was an appeals process. So with the aid of an immigration lawyer I appealed and lost. The panel were very understanding, but because I do not possess any "specialised skills" or have no real ties here, such as a partner or children, they could not see why they should let me stay.
They did however, say that once I am back in Kenya, they will allowed me to apply for permanent residency in Canada without prejudice. They will even push me as far to the front of the list as possible, but, I cannot apply from within Canada.
I have until May 31st to get my affairs in order and leave this great nation. I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank everyone who read and contributed to my blog. You will be missed. Take care. If I do begin another blog once in Kenya, I will let you all know. Until then take care and appreciate Canada every single day.
April Fool's
A brief history - I emigrated to Canada almost fifteen years ago. About six weeks after arriving in Canada, my father passed away from a heart attack. While I have been eligible for Canadian Citizenship for almost a dozen years, or at least I thought I did, loyalty to my birth nation of Kenya has refrained me becoming a Canuck on paper. However after my recently aborted trip to Kenya, my loyalty succumbed to pragmatism and I bit the bullet and applied for Canadian Citizenship. It is just so much easier to travel as a Canadian than a Kenyan.
I received and filled out the forms as directed. I had all my references and guarantors in order and everything was coming along swimmingly... until I received a call from one Ms. Catherine Stewart. It turns out I have been in the country illegally since my father passed away. Apparently, it was my father who actually emigrated to Canada, and I was only allowed in as his dependant. Since he passed away so shortly after our arrival, it invalidated my status here in Canada. The only problem is no told me. I simply slipped through the cracks of the system. I slipped through so many cracks that I never raised any flags when I applied for jobs, filled out my taxes or required health care - Since, my SIN and OHIP have been rescinded.
So I'm on the phone with Ms. Stewart and saying I was stunned would be the understatement of the decade. Luckily, because I had been here so long, and because I had stayed out of trouble, that is to say, no warrants or even a police record, there was an appeals process. So with the aid of an immigration lawyer I appealed and lost. The panel were very understanding, but because I do not possess any "specialised skills" or have no real ties here, such as a partner or children, they could not see why they should let me stay.
They did however, say that once I am back in Kenya, they will allowed me to apply for permanent residency in Canada without prejudice. They will even push me as far to the front of the list as possible, but, I cannot apply from within Canada.
I have until May 31st to get my affairs in order and leave this great nation. I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank everyone who read and contributed to my blog. You will be missed. Take care. If I do begin another blog once in Kenya, I will let you all know. Until then take care and appreciate Canada every single day.
April Fool's
Sunday, 1 April 2007
I can't friggin' believe it!!!
Holy shit holy shit holy shit!!! You're not going to believe this. I was digging out my spring/fall clothes, this morning, for the season, I stick my hand in my spring jacket and I find a super seven lottery from October 2006. It's a little beaten up and I have no idea if I've checked it or not. So I stuff it back in the jacket and don't give it a second thought. Later in the evening, I head out for my daily stroll; it is a little nippy and I shove my hands in to the jacket pockets for warmth, and there's the six month old ticket.
So I stop by a corner store on the way home and have the ticket checked and the machine plays its little jingle telling me I'm not a complete loser, so I figure a free ticket or maybe ten bucks, but in no way did I think of a number like $1,223,320!!!! I hit six out of seven super seven numbers and the bonus, but it was my encore that paid out. I hit ALL my encores and made very COOL MILLION!!! I called the Ontario Lottery & Gaming Commission hotline for validation, and after a few confirmation questions, and a trip to their local office and it's verified!! ONE POINT TWO MILLION DOLLARS BABY!!!
Next week I have to go to Niagara Falls where they'll have the presentation ceremony at the Fallsview Casino. The Casino is sending me a Limo and I get a suite for the week. I guess they think I'll spend my new found wealth at their casino... although, they do have poker tables. All I know is the second I get cheque in my hot little hands, I'll calling my accountant and then my travel agent!
Needless to say I won't be posting much of anything on TFTH for the next little while. See you all when I see you.
So I stop by a corner store on the way home and have the ticket checked and the machine plays its little jingle telling me I'm not a complete loser, so I figure a free ticket or maybe ten bucks, but in no way did I think of a number like $1,223,320!!!! I hit six out of seven super seven numbers and the bonus, but it was my encore that paid out. I hit ALL my encores and made very COOL MILLION!!! I called the Ontario Lottery & Gaming Commission hotline for validation, and after a few confirmation questions, and a trip to their local office and it's verified!! ONE POINT TWO MILLION DOLLARS BABY!!!
Next week I have to go to Niagara Falls where they'll have the presentation ceremony at the Fallsview Casino. The Casino is sending me a Limo and I get a suite for the week. I guess they think I'll spend my new found wealth at their casino... although, they do have poker tables. All I know is the second I get cheque in my hot little hands, I'll calling my accountant and then my travel agent!
Needless to say I won't be posting much of anything on TFTH for the next little while. See you all when I see you.
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