Quoting... Richard Jeni

I'm a Catholic, the same way a cow born in a tree is a bird.
- Richard Jeni

Quoting... Jean Kerr

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?
- Jean Kerr

The Earth is a Beautiful Place*

*Limited Time Offer

-Me

Quoting... Kurt Vonnegut

Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.
- Kurt Vonnegut

Quoting... John Benfield

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
- John Benfield

Quoting... Henry J. Tillman

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
- Henry J. Tillman

Quoting... E. B. White

I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.
- E. B. White

Quoting... Atheists

Atheism: A non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin

Which is it, is man one of God’s blunders or is God one of man’s?
- Frederich Nietzsche

If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
- Albert Einstein

I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.
- Mohandas K. Gandhi

It ain’t those parts of the Bible that I can’t understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.
- Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain)

If you gave Falwell an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox.
- Christopher Hitchens

Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people.
- Karl Marx (Always thought the quote was "Opiate of the masses")

The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.
- George Bernard Shaw

You’re basically killing each other to see who’s got the better imaginary friend.
- Richard Jeni

The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike.
- Delos B. McKown

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish.
- Unknown

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?
- Epicurus

There’s a phrase we live by in America: “In God We Trust”. It’s right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.
- Bill Maher

If I thought the Jews killed God, I’d worship the Jews.
- Bill Hicks

Properly read, the Bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived.
- Isaac Asimov

Quoting... Vicomte de Chateaubriand

You are not superior just because you see the world in an odious light.
- Vicomte de Chateaubriand

Quoting... Sir Winston Churchill

Never, never, never believe any war will be smooth and easy, or that anyone who embarks on the strange voyage can measure the tides and hurricanes he will encounter. The statesman who yields to war fever must realize that once the signal is given, he is no longer the master of policy but the slave of unforeseeable and uncontrollable events.
- Sir Winston Churchill

Quoting... George Benard Shaw

If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience.
- George Bernard Shaw

Quoting... Daniel Webster

A strong conviction that something must be done is the parent of many bad measures.
- Daniel Webster

Quoting... Soren Kierkegaard

People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Quoting... Albert Einstein

A man's ethical behaviour should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death.
- Albert Einstein

Quoting... George Orwell

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

-George Orwell (From The Book, 1984)

Quoting... Marie Curie

Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.
- Marie Curie

Truer and more timeless words were never spoken.

Quoting... Ron Paul

"In Washington, lawmakers either want to prohibit something, or subsidize something. How about doing neither, and letting people make the decisions!"
-Ron Paul

When Rob Paul says something like this, he sound less like a conservative and more like a libertarian. Keep at it Dr. Paul!

Quoting... Dr. Gregory House

You can't use logic on religious people, if you could, there's would be any religious people.
-Dr. Gregory House

Quoting... Steven Wright

Everyone dies instantly... It's the only way to die. You're alive... you're alive... you're alive... you're dead.
- Steven Wright

Quoting... Darrell A. Foley

It's not that I'm itching to get married... I just don't want to be too old to enjoy my first divorce.
- Darrell A. Foley