I'm really beginning to hate kids, more than that, I'm really beginning to hate their parents.
While waiting for my flight to Amsterdam, there were literally a dozen or so screaming children running everywhere by the boarding gate. There were kids crying. There were kids running in to other passengers and there were parents who were simply sitting idly by.
I don't know what it is about parents, but they have this ability to tune out tantrums by their children. I, on the other hand, not being parent, cannot! If anything quite the opposite my ears tend to focus on the noise until if feels like a drill boring in my head.
Once we got on the plane, I had children at my twelve o'clock, two o'clock, three o'clock and six o'clock. The child in front of me was as children are supposed to be, seen but not heard. The child at my two o'clock was running up and down the aisle seriously inhibiting the flight attendants - his parent did nothing. The child to my three o'clock was screaming and crying and throwing everything from her colouring book to the food containers in the aisle obstructing the food and drink carts. The flight attendants were forced to play nanny to this spoilt child by cleaning up after her - her parent did nothing. The child behind me had a never ending tantrum, screaming and crying and kicking the seat in front of her which was occupied by a elderly gentleman. After a few minutes of seeing this poor man being jerked forward after every kick, I turned around and politely, but firmly, asked her parents to kindly restrain their child, until I did this - her parents did nothing.
Now I'm not that old. I was born in the mid-seventies and I hate those "when I was kid" type differentiations, but when I was kid, there is no way in hell I would have gotten away with anything like this sort of behaviour. I was raised the way, in my opinion, children should be raised - quietly.
While I dislike gross generalisations, even more, I dislike gross generalisations based on race - I have found that is the children of Africans and Indians who are the worst culprits - Indians more so.
These aren't one time observations, I have noticed this pattern all over the city, but unlike the city where I am able to remove myself from unruly children, an aeroplane is a different matter entirely.
Not being parent, or even being an older sibling to anyone, I can't say I have any solutions that on how to handle children like that. What I can do, is offer what worked for my Mother - a tight slap!
A tight slap on the bottom or my face was always constructive to my social behaviour. Yes, here in North America one would probably be incarcerated for administering such discipline, something I vehemently disagree with but seeing as how the majority of the next generation are being raised, I think it's a policy the government ought to re-think because till this day, I am grateful to my Mother for being the disciplinarian that she was.
Are children getting worse, or are parents getting lazy? It's probably cause and effect. Lazy parenting leads to this kind behaviour.
5 comments:
This is something that constantly freaks me out about parenting. My son isn't quite a year yet, but already I get glimpses of his personality and I can tell he'll be a handful.
Just like anything else, you build a tolerance for how much tantrum you can take before something is done about it. There's a delicate balance between being an overbearing, smothering parent and being a parent that allows a bit of exploration and self-expression. You're right in thinking that sometimes parents forget to consider those that are around them that aren't used to the fuss. Tanya and I try to be mindful of the people around us, but sometimes you just don't know what is going to piss someone off.
The problem as I see it is that I think every parent starts off with the best intentions and a plan with how they will raise their kid. Unfortunately, sticking to that plan requires time, patience and a lot of energy. Time is constantly at a premium in society today.
Just think of your own life and consider the amount of free time you have. Probably not much because you fill it with things that seem very important. Now take all of that away because now it's all about the kid and that kid doesn't know, nor does he care that you need a moment to blog about something, or you want to go out to see that film you've been waiting for OR you just need an extra hour or two of sleep. To him, you're there for him and him alone.
Parent's don't have the time to spend with their kids that they used to. In Portugal, back in the day, the village would raise you. When you were out of your parents' site you were still held to standards by neighbours. These days, many people don't even know their neighbours!
The whole spanking issue is a contentious one. Both Tanya and I talk about the beatings we used to get as kids and how we turned out. I think we're both on the same page on that. I'm not against it as long as it isn't done in anger. I think that's the difference between discipline and abuse.
As a parent you are significantly larger and stronger than the child. If you lash out in anger the kid is learning that that is the way you deal with frustration.
True Al, there is a fine line between being overbearing parents and allowing your children to develop "their own personalities" but when a child behaves in ways I have illustrated in my post, then that line is crossed.
If time is indeed at a premium, then I believe it is irresponsible to even have children if potential parents don't think they will be able to devote the required time to rear their children. If it comes down to caring for your child and tennis lessons, it's obvious which one should be dispensed with.
You're right that the days of "it take a village to raise a child" are long gone - but then shouldn't it be the responsibility of the parents to pick up the slack?
Re: Corporal punishment - I have share the exact same sentiment, in fact, in a different forum, the way I have expressed my views are virtually identical to yours. "If you strike a child out of anger, it's a abuse, however if you strike a child with cool calm head and with restraint - that's discipline."
"If time is indeed at a premium, then I believe it is irresponsible to even have children if potential parents don't think they will be able to devote the required time to rear their children."
Wow Shay, you just solved the world's population problem! If parents waited to have kids when they had the time, then no one would be having kids and in the future we'd be looking down the barrell of a population crisis of a different kind.
The way things are shaping up Al, that would be welcome. I invite you to read this article at Slate - http://www.slate.com/id/2173458/
Interesting read. I especially found the link to The Voluntary Human Extinction Movement fascinating. Thanks for the link.
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