Do I HAVE to mourn?

When I first heard about Jerry Falwell's death, my instinctive reaction was to smile. My next reaction was one of guilt. I was raised to respect the dead and be solemn in the time of death.. These two reactions led me to question the way I reacted. Do you have to be austere and respectful to someone you don't respect and dislike?

The reason I ask is because I have gone through these series of responses twice before. First, when my high school bully died a couple of years ago (yeah, I know, I can hold a grudge). For a couple of years I found myself constantly looking over my shoulder and just the sound of his voice would make my heart jump in to my throat. Second, when a guy who was sleeping with my girlfriend when I was with her got shot in the head (let that be a lesson to all of you out there). In both cases I was initially elated followed by pangs of guilt.

While I understand the reason for sombreness, why does it have to be imposed on someone. If one is not sincere in their mourning, doesn't it become meaningless?

So when someone say things like this, it's a tad difficult for me to mourn their passing. While I do feel for those close to him, and wish them all the strength they need to get through this terrible time in their lives, I can't help but want to jump and punch the air with my fist in celebration.

Some of what Jerry Falwell has said:

The idea that religion and politics don't mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country.
Sermon (4 July 1976)

I hope I live to see the day when, as in the early days of our country, we won't have any public schools. The churches will have taken them over again and Christians will be running them. What a happy day that will be!
America Can Be Saved! (1979) Sword of the Lord Publishers, Murfreesboro, Tennessee, p. 52-53, quoted at "The Rise of the Religious Right in the Republican Party"

I do question the sincerity and non-violent intentions of some civil rights leaders such as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Mr. James Farmer, and others, who are known to have left wing associations.
As quoted in A Testament of Hope: the essential writings of Martin Luther King (1990) by James M Washington, pub Harper Collins, San Francisco ISBN 0060646918

Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them.
Crossfire (17 May 1997)

If the American Atheists Society or Saddam Hussein himself ever sent an unrestricted gift to any of my ministries, be assured I will operate on Billy Sunday's philosophy: The Devil's had it long enough, and quickly cash the check.
Christianity Today (9 February 1998)

God continues to lift the curtain and allow the enemies of America to give us probably what we deserve.
As quoted in "God Gave US 'What We Deserve,' Falwell Says" by John F Harris, in The Washington Post (14 September 2001)

The ACLU's got to take a lot of blame for this.
On responses to the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks, as quoted in AANEWS #958 (14 September 2001) and at Positive Atheism

His message of peace and reconciliation under almost all circumstances is simply incompatible with Christian teachings as I interpret them. This 'turn the other cheek' business is all well and good but it's not what Jesus fought and died for. What we need to do is take the battle to the Muslim heathens and do unto them before they do unto us.
On Jimmy Carter in a radio interview on (4 March 2002).

I think Muhammad was a terrorist. I read enough by both Muslims and non-Muslims, [to decide] that he was a violent man, a man of war.
An interview given on 30 September 2002, for 60 Minutes (6 October 2002). The following Friday, Mohsen Mojtahed Shabestari, the spokesman of Iran's Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, issued a fatwa for Falwell's death, saying that Falwell was a "mercenary and must be killed," and, "The death of that man is a religious duty, but his case should not be tied to the Christian community."

You've got to kill the terrorists before the killing stops and I am for the President — chase them all over the world, if it takes ten years, blow them all away in the name of the Lord.
CNN Debate with Jesse Jackson (24 October 2004)

And the fact that John Kerry would not support a federal marriage amendment [prohibiting gay marriage], it equates in our minds as someone 150 years ago saying I'm personally opposed to slavery, but if my neighbor wants to own one or two that's OK. We don't buy that.
CNN : Anderson Cooper 360 Degrees (3 November 2004)

Civil rights for all Americans, black, white, red, yellow, the rich, poor, young, old, gay, straight, et cetera, is not a liberal or a conservative value. It’s an American value that I would think that we pretty much all agree on.
"The Situation with Tucker Carlson" on MSNBC (5 August 2005)

Thank God for these gay demonstrators. If I didn't have them, I'd have to invent them. They give me all the publicity I need.
As quoted by Falwell's ghostwriter Mel White in "Religion, Politics a Potent Mix for Jerry Falwell" by Steve Inskeep in Morning Edition on NPR (30 June 2006)

Since Jesus came to the earth the first time 2,000 years ago as a Jewish male, many evangelicals believe the Antichrist will, by necessity, be a Jewish male. This belief is 2,000 years old and has no anti-Semitic roots. This is simply historic and prophetic orthodox Christian doctrine that many theologians, Christian and non-Christian, have understood for two millennia.
Quoted in "Religion, Politics a Potent Mix for Jerry Falwell" by Steve Inskeep in Morning Edition on NPR (30 June 2006)

Source: Wikiquote

I mean he's obviously an brutal misogynistic homophobic anti-semite. Of course, he's well within his right to say all of these things, but in doing so, he should expect some of the reactions he has received, and in this case, my heart finds it difficult to go out to him.

Now, I'm not saying throw a party in honour of his death, I do realise that celebrating someone's death is inappropriate, but don't make me mourn it either.